My Experience With Emotional Authority

About 50% of the world’s population has Emotional Authority or Solar Plexus Authority. And so have I.

When we want to make correct decisions, there is no truth in the now. We are always on an emotional wave (which is unique for each of us). We need to ride that wave so that clarity may arise spontaneously with time and patience.

By getting up close and personal with our emotional wave, we learn to discern what clarity is and when we are still on a “high” or “low” in our wave. Clarity feels more neutral, like arriving in calm water where the decision has lost its emotional charge.

When I feel nervous, I know I’m not in a state of clarity (yet). It feels like a nervous belly or stomach in my case (everyone will probably describe it differently), telling me that the timing is off to make a decision or take action. There’s a hesitation, and at the beginning, it can be very subtle and easily overlooked.

Through some years of experimentation with this Authority, I noticed that I am much more attuned to that sensation of nervousness now, while before, I often didn’t know what to feel or how it felt to have clarity or not.

In the beginning, I didn’t really notice more subtle feelings of nervousness. It needed to be quite strong before I started listening. I also wasn’t really attuned to my body. I was fearful of feeling my emotions.

There were days when I woke up in the morning with feelings of melancholy and I would know I was in a “low.” And there were times when I experienced tremendous excitement — I could often hear it in the tone of my voice when speaking to someone — and then I knew I was on a “high.”

But often, I wasn’t really sure about where I was on that emotional wave. Sometimes the only way to know if there was clarity or not was to wait until I woke up the next day and then compare it to the day before: “Hey, yesterday I wanted to do this, but today I feel different about it. Interesting…” And then I waited another day and often, it would feel different again.

With time, I would notice that my wave flattened out, and I would experience something like “calmer waters.” Clarity arrived, but it’s not 100% clarity or certainty, but enough clarity to help me relax and accept the consequences of my decision. A kind of calm “readiness” if you will.

These days, I can feel more subtle feelings of nervousness. That nagging, insecure, wobbly feeling in my stomach. It feels like there’s a slight hesitation, and I need to go through something first, even though my mind has set its mind on something or I feel the pressure to act.

That slight nervousness now stops me in my tracks, without me having to know exactly what is going on. It’s not a mental anguish or a lack of self-confidence, nor is it perfectionism; it’s just a nervousness telling me that the timing isn’t quite right. And that’s what I’ve come to honor through this experiment.

It gives me peace of mind to know that I can trust that nervousness. But it was a process of years of learning to let go of the stories and rulership of the mind. I needed to learn to reconnect with my body again. I had this deep fear of inhabiting my body, fear of what I might feel, fear of old and icky emotional stuff stored in my body that could come to the surface again. I needed to be ready to feel again and be in my body, be with the experience of feeling, even when it’s very uncomfortable, scary, or almost unbearable. I had to ease into that process, little by little.

A great book that helped me is “The Path is Everywhere” by Matt Licata and the beautiful writings/poems by Jeff Foster, as well as Somatic Experiencing and Trauma Therapy.

In the beginning, I learned that Emotional Authority is about the “bigger” decisions in life. But how do I know if a decision is “big enough?” And what about the smaller decisions of everyday life? I always tried to mentally figure that out and became ever more confused.

But since I became much more aware of the nervousness, I now notice that all those questions have become superfluous.

If I feel nervous, if that gnawing feeling arises in my stomach and there’s even the slightest hesitation, then there is no clarity, no matter what decision I am making, big or small. Nervousness simply means: waiting.

Of course, it takes a lot of practice and awareness in the beginning. So, it’s safer to say: with every big decision like moving to a new place, entering a new relationship, changing jobs, etc., sleep on it and see how you feel tomorrow, just to be sure. Take your time. Take as much time as feels comfortable and then, wait a little longer if you can.

And with the smaller decisions, like “what to eat for lunch,” the impact usually isn’t big enough to derail your life.

The nervousness (or lack thereof) tells me everything I need to know at any given moment. But it’s been a process of years, in which I went from only being able to feel extremes to becoming aware of more subtle sensations of nervousness. I truly had to use “sleep on it” as a mantra at the beginning. I needed to become aware of my unique emotional wave first and get comfortable with both the emotions and the waiting.

And now, that process has evolved into simply sensing nervousness or not, however subtle it may be. As a result, I am no longer so intensely focused on my emotions or where I am on my emotional wave or label everything I feel. I just let it be, allow myself to feel whatever comes up, and know that those emotions are transient and temporary and that I don’t have to figure them out mentally. Clarity comes when it comes and it is what it is (I have a t-shirt with that last saying).

It is a process that we cannot rush or manipulate. It has its own timing. We have to accept that clarity takes time. But it’s worth it, in my opinion. It’s worth the wait and the patience and the “feeling the feelings.” I’m actually deeply grateful for what this experiment has brought me so far.

Daisy can be reached for consultations, sessions, and guidance at www.daisydeboevere.be

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