Will and the Defined Ego

The Ego center is the seat of the will. It concerns our material reality and sense of worth within the context of the tribe or community we’re a part of. It’s where we can work hard (Gate 40) for the family and community (or not) and where we exercise control (Gate 21) over our own resources and those of whom we are bonded/committed to. It’s also where we position ourselves to gain the maximum reward for our efforts (Gate 26).

But the most interesting aspect of the Ego (for me at least) comes from its ability to withstand the shock (Gate 51) of new and different and experiences coming in from the individuals who stand with one foot in the material world and one in the spiritual dimension. This is the main source of influence and mutation/empowerment within the tribe.

The tribe by its nature doesn’t really want to change. It’s more focused on the agreements made to support one another through the mutual sharing of resources. But life is a movement with an ongoing pulse of mutation which the individual brings into the tribal setting.

So it’s the Ego through its expression of commitment which can will itself into action for a particular effort or task. But, will is not an energy source like the Sacral center is. It moves when it moves and is needed, but it’s not designed for continuous use without causing undue stress on the heart and the body’s other organs and systems. The Ego must balance work and rest with as much or more downtime as the energy expended. It seems best used as a last resort or back up to the energies available in other motors or available within the context of a relationship.

As an Ego Projector (ie. having the Ego as my authority), I’ve spent the last three years getting a better sense of how it operates within the context of my daily life. Most of the time (if I’m not abusing it), the Ego/Will isn’t doing anything. It’s resting and waiting. But when presented with a challenge, opportunity, or need to accomplish something, it comes to life and wakes up. It’s a physical or embodied thing, not a mind thing. The Ego has no awareness.

My ego just moves me and I go along for the ride. Or as said by a fellow Projector guide I did a session with, “You’re just a dumb ego flying through space!”. The funny thing was that I really couldn’t disagree with him!

With my single 25-51 Channel Of Initiation, I often experience the authority of the Ego/Will as a energetic “pull” in a certain direction. Whether or not I act on it often has to do with whether the direction is in alignment with who I am and what I want to do (G Center).

All that I’ve written so far mostly applies to defined Egos, depending on the gates/channels one has activated. Then these energies are consistent and reliable in one’s experience. But for the undefined Ego, these various aspects of the Ego are conditional and transitory. Having more to do with the people you’re with and the program (transits). An undefined Ego can experience all of these things, but they won’t be a reliable part of one’s experience.

The open Ego is also highly susceptible to conditioning. When the Ego is undefined, we can feel pressured or influenced by others to prove ourselves and our value to the group or community. We may question our self-worth and make promises or commitments that we can’t or later do not want to keep. Bringing more awareness to this dynamic can be particularly beneficial for the open Ego, but also, for the defined Ego which is still susceptible to conditioning.

It’s been an interesting journey witnessing and learning about my Ego authority and I thought I’d wrap this up by sharing something that I think may be illustrative which I’ve seen in relationship with my wife, Mo who also has a defined Ego.

We were talking the other day and I was sharing my perspective on something. Basically, me saying how I saw a particular situation and how everything was fine (no problemo). I must have been speaking with a particular frequency, one that others have pointed out feels like my will speaking. Well, Mo wasn’t really having it. She said that the way I was speaking was “convince-atory” (yes, she sometimes makes words up) and likened it to a Jedi mind trick ala “these aren’t the droids you’re looking for”.

It was later that I realized that this may have been a somewhat subtle example of how the will works and pressures others. Except in Mo’s case, it doesn’t work that well as she’s got a defined Ego herself. I think this says something about companionship in terms of Ego definition. When we have two people expressing their truth in terms of what each value and want, it can feel like two Egos flying through space and sometimes colliding. Occasionally, it becomes a battle of wills.

But when one person has a defined Ego and the other does not, it can often put pressure on the open Ego to try and compete or keep up with the defined Ego. As usual, awareness is key in all of this. It helps for the defined Ego to be aware of how they can pressure or push the other – and the open Ego needs to see when that pressure or influence is coming from outside themselves and not have to commit to doing something they don’t want to do or being someone they are not.

In both cases, it ultimately comes down to loving yourself as you are.