Forum Replies Created

  • Melissa Muri

    Member
    November 26, 2021 at 9:03 pm in reply to: Projectors and Family

    To answer your question, Melisa, it is not any different for me. I am a G Projector (Channels 1-8 and 10-20). It is almost never possible for me to be truly seen or heard in family Pentas (plus I am a 5/1!). In my experience, the only way my Projector gift of guiding the energy of the small group happens when the participants understand the energy contribution of everyone involved. I can certainly see a time where conscious Pentas can be intentionally ‘engineered’, unfortunately, family Pentas simply are what they are! 🙂

  • Melissa Muri

    Member
    January 8, 2021 at 12:37 pm in reply to: The 6th Gate

    Thanks for this post, @johnmcole . I have Gate 6 Line 1 in my IC (unconscious Earth) – Retreat – wait and see. I have an undefined emotional system.

    In the Line Companion book, Ra says, “What felt good today can feel terrible tomorrow and there is nothing that you can do about that.” He goes on to say that “What we have here in the first line is the wave of weakness and strength. This is the nature of all intimacy”. He suggests, to those emotional defined, that when meeting someone that you tell them that you are an emotional person and that they may not like you tomorrow. 🙂

    Although I have an undefined solar plexus, I have 5 gates with dormant potential. When I am with another person, I am quite likely to be emotionally defined by the connection. In the past, I recall hearing my self-projected authority alert people (especially in intimate relationships) that I may be ‘nice’ now, but I can also be ‘bitchy’. Most people don’t believe me, which actually astounds me. Something I heard many years ago that I know to be true for me today is that, “When people tell you who they are, believe them!”

    I am only beginning to understand the mechanics of my emotional system. I can feel the power of Gate 6, the power to grow. When I do not feel growth happening, I retreat. I wait and see. Sometimes.

  • Melissa Muri

    Member
    May 9, 2020 at 7:55 am in reply to: Ra on the Wa and Penta

    “Enlightened Selfishness” – my new mantra! Thank you for posting this, John. Sparkling Heart

  • Melissa Muri

    Member
    April 13, 2020 at 9:16 am in reply to: Waiting to be "un-invited"

    Thanks for the reply, John. I recalled reading your post last fall and it was helpful to revisit your writing.

    I am sensing that Motivation is another component of this topic. I listened to Alok’s recent teaching on Motivation and I am frequently brought back to Ra’s teachings on Projector Transformation. “When you begin to feel those forces in your life consistently pulling you away from your motivation perhaps what arises in you is a recognition that it cannot go on that way. It can’t; not unless you want to surrender fully to a not-self life and forget about the business of fulfilling your purpose or your cross”.

    I have been watching transference for awhile now. I have Guilt motivation. Watching my transference to Hope has been a deeply practical way to feel the energy shift in my body. When I feel pulled into being hopeful, I know it’s time to come back to myself. These are the situations, the environments, the relationships where the energy feels like I am “un-invited”, like change is needed in order for me to maintain my correctness as a Self-Projected Projector.

    I would love to hear how others experience their Motivation and Transference. 🙂

  • Melissa Muri

    Member
    February 10, 2020 at 11:42 am in reply to: Projectors and Rage

    Wow right back to you, Kendra! I would like you to know that I re-read your postings here at HDC several times. There is so much beauty and grace in your words. It feels like gentle poetic music flowing through my body as I read. Thank YOU for sharing! Heart Eyes

    To be clear, honest sharing hasn’t always been easy for me and doing so is a continual work in progress. I do recognize that sometimes my sharing is too much for others. Maybe it’s age, maybe it’s my heretical nature, maybe it is the crises I have been through, regardless, I now trust in sharing. Having a safe space to do so is key. This space that John & Amy have created feels safe to me.

    I think it was here that I saw a posting where Ra spoke about sharing. Here are some phrases from that post that impact me greatly, some of which have been part of my life process even before HD:

    “What we don’t share with each other we never get. This is not a promise. And it’s not a hope. This is just simply a mechanical truth.”

    “The ability to learn things from each other, not to pass things onto each other, not to repeat things to each other. But to embrace each other out of our uniqueness. It is the only way we get to finally truly meet another. It’s special.”

    “We are here to commune at the most exalted level. And what we’re here to commune with is ourselves. We are here to stand and to deliver our truth. And you see in correctness that no truth is incorrect. Everybody‘s story is everybody’s story. Let’s have a lot of good stories because that’s what it’s about.”

    As a Self-Projected Projector, Ra’s words resonate to the core of my being.

  • Melissa Muri

    Member
    February 8, 2020 at 11:14 am in reply to: Projectors and Rage

    I resonate deeply with your description of rage, Amy. I also concur with the woman that you studied with and her description of “the rage to live”, a primal reaction. After I began my experimentation with HD, I initially tied these types of reactions to my 10-20 (verbal gunslinger) channel, however, I am beginning to hear the frequency differences of my voice. The reaction from my 10-20, more often, comes from the bitterness of not being recognized in that precise moment. There’s a nervous punch in my words.

    Rage is much, much deeper than a reaction to the moment. My Perspective/View is Survival, I am a pure Individual and I was born on the Left Angle Cross of Confrontation. It seems to me that all of these components play a part. When rage emerges for me, it is a full body, loud, projectile verbal vomit. In my life right now, I see rage being exclusively tied to one situation. Indeed, it is about my survival. It is about my children and grandchildren’s future. It is about my right to govern the resources that my late husband and I worked for 30+ years to procure. It is about confrontation. It demands attention. Yes, I have had explosions. It can be challenging to wade through those times because the other participants in these encounters are either Manifesting Generators or, in the case of my father-in-law, an unconscious Emotional Manifestor (12-22). My late husband’s mother (MG with all Integration defined) is especially angry with me. She apparently scratched my face out of my daughter’s wedding photo that hung on their wall. A challenge to my right to exist? Without a doubt. Is there a karmic component to all of this? Surely.

    I have an undefined Solar Plexus that I describe as a pin-cushion (5 dormant gates). Learning how to distinguish between my emotions and those of others is a continual challenge. I recognize that I do have my own rage, my own more subtle anger and my own frustration. I do not “live” in those spaces, but they are certainly there. In my current situation, I am awaiting invitation for resolution. In the meantime, I practice being still and take deep breaths…

  • Melissa Muri

    Member
    November 10, 2019 at 12:47 pm in reply to: Your Design Node Fixed Star

    Thanks for sharing LaVeena’s fixed star article, Kendra. Fascinating! I invite one of you more familiar with Astrology to help me out. My Design Link Node longitude is at 8 degrees, 6 minutes, 31.092 secs Cancer. If I am reading Laveena’s article correctly, I am estimating that my fixed star would be Alhena. True?

  • Melissa Muri

    Member
    November 10, 2019 at 12:40 pm in reply to: Link Nodes

    Wonderful explanation, John! 

    My spirit can also be broken and certainly has been in this life. I have started anew on many things, some I would consider small and others large, life changing events. My design link node is 52.5 in an undefined Root. My personality link node is 10.5 in my defined G Center. It would take a couple of gates for my nodes to interlink via a channel.

    I have tended to really embrace change during my life. Expect the unexpected! That’s not to say that having my spirit broken hasn’t been really awful sometimes. But like so many things in life, we only really know what we know. I cannot imagine what it must be like to have it the other way around!

    Thanks for your work putting this piece together, John and for bringing the topic to light, Amy. I look forward to reading the sharing of others. 

  • Melissa Muri

    Member
    November 6, 2019 at 11:32 am in reply to: The 2/4 : Call of the Tiger

    Thanks for posting, John. Boy can I relate! My late husband was a 2/4 Manifesting Generator. We had been married less than a year (mid-20’s) when he “got the call” from his father to move and begin managing a new piece of property for the family ranching business. There was no negotiating, no talking about it. His decision was made. It was a difficult time for me as a 5/1 Self Projected Projector who needs to talk!

  • Melissa Muri

    Member
    November 5, 2019 at 6:52 pm in reply to: 3-60 Channel of Mutation

    My daughter has the 3-60 too. She can be deeply melancholic between mutations. Her Gate 3 is unconscious making the energy even more of a mystery to her!